Home Alone: An Analysis

There is no movie in my lifetime that I have seen more than Home Alone.  Here are some random observations I have had over the years.

-I know you have the right to defend yourself if someone breaks into your home, but what is the legality of what Kevin does to Harry and Marv?  Between the blowtorch, paint cans, cutting the rope, etc, there’s gotta be some sort of law he’s breaking.  Some sort of line between self defense and cruel and unusual punishment had to have been crossed.  Combine that with Kevin’s toothbrush shoplifting priors and I think any jury could have sent him to Juvy for a long time.

-Is there any movie character more unlikable than Uncle Frank?  I have no doubt that behind closed doors he beat Fuller all the time.  I think this is the more logical reason as to why Fuller is a chronic bed wetter.  I drank pepsi all the time before bed and never had a bed wetting problem.  At least not in the last two or three years.

-Another classic Uncle Frank line is on the plane when Mrs. McCallister finds out she left Kevin.  His line to make her feel better: “If it makes you feel any better, I forgot my reading glasses.”  Thanks Uncle Frank, that does make me feel better.

-Fun Fact (courtesy of IMDB): “The picture Kevin finds of “Buzz’s girlfriend” was a picture of a boy made up to look like a girl because Chris Columbus thought it would be too cruel to make fun of a girl like that.”

WOOF

Old Man Marley definitely murdered his family and half his block in ’58.  Does anyone dispute this?  There’s a line in the church with Kevin in which he says to him, “there’s a lot of things going around about me, but none of it’s true.”  He is referring to the rumor about the “salt turning the bodies into mummies”, which was ridiculous.

-I really wish “Angels With Filthy Souls” was a real movie.

1…2….10!!!

How inept were the local cops?  When Mrs. McCallister calls from Paris to have them send over someone to check on Kevin, they acted like she was crazy.  “You left your eight year old kid at home and you’re stranded in Paris. that’s it?”  They acted like her request to have someone check on her son was a huge overreaction and that she was just some hyper lady.  How lazy were they?  When they finally did send someone, they sent the most arrogant cop in the department over.  After knocking a few times, he radio’s to his superiors that, “there’s nobody home, the house looks secure, tell her to count her kids again.”  He acts like she just miscounted her kids and that she’s probably wrong and Kevin is actually in Paris with them.

-When Kevin first says “I made my family disappear,” there is a moment where Kevin remembers all the mean things his family said to him.  One thing is Buzz saying, “Kevin I’m going to feed you to my tarantula.”  Except, unlike the other things, we never heard Buzz say this to Kevin.  This always bothered me.

-Speaking of Kevin and making his family disappear, the film definitely gave off two different impressions on Kevin’s intelligence level.  On one hand he’s stupid enough to believe he made his family disappear, and on the other, he manages to thwart the robbers through an elaborate party with a Michael Jordan cut-out strapped to a train while he dances around controlling a bunch of dummies with some rope.

-there were rumors that Macaulay Culkin had sleepovers at the Neverland Ranch with Michael Jackson.  If true, he went from sleeping in a bed with Michael Jackson to sleeping in a bed with Mila Kunis.  Perhaps the greatest step up in history.

Seriously, how did he pull this off?

I always thought it was funny that Mrs. McCallister only beat the rest of the family home by about five minutes.  She went through all that trouble and had to drive cross country listening to John Candy’s terrible polka band, while the rest of the family likely flew back first class back to Chicago.

-Finally, who took more punishment, Harry or Marv?  Harry took a BB gun to the groin, blowtorch to the head, burning doorknob, crowbar to the chest, and  some feathers.  Marv got shot in the head with the BB gun, stepped on a nail, took an iron to his face, and stepped on the Christmas ornaments.  I think people underrate how much the blowtorch would have hurt, but I still lean towards Marv.  His feet took such a pounding.  The nail part still makes me cringe.

-Favorite scene in the movie is still Kevin fooling the Pizza Guy with “Angels With Filthy Souls.”

-I’ve seen this movie too many times.

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One Response to Home Alone: An Analysis

  1. Pingback: Top 10 Worst Movie Character in Good Movies: 1-5 | The Sports Dudes

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