Top 20 Episodes of Seinfeld: 11-20

Our panel of Seinfeld “experts” voted on which Seinfeld episodes were the best.  Here were the results:

Just Missed- The Junior Mint (Season 4) and The Pool Guy (Season 7)

20. The Chinese Restaurant (Season 2)

George: She called. He yelled Cartwright. I missed her.

Jerry: Who’s Cartwright?

George: I’m Cartwright!

Jerry: You’re not Cartwri-

George: Of course I’m not Cartwright!

19. The Wink (Season 7)

STEINBRENNER: Morgan, Morgan, you know his name is conspicuously absent from this card. Almost like he went out of his way not to sign it.

GEORGE: Oh no, Morgan is a good man sir.

STEINBRENNER: You can stop kowtowing to Morgan. Congratulations, you got his job.

GEORGE: Wa, uh, thank you sir, you know I am not quite sure I’m right for it.

STEINBRENNER: Stop it George, he’s out, you’re in.

STEINBRENNER: A lot more work you know.

GEORGE: I know.

STEINBRENNER: A lot more responsibility. Long long hours.

GEORGE: I know.

STEINBRENNER: Not much more money.

18. The Calzone (Season 7)

Mr. Steinbrenner on phone: That’s right. Do you want to say it again . I’ll say it again. I hadn’t had a pimple since I was eighteen and I don’t care that you don’t believe me or not. And how’s this. You’re fired. Okay your not.  I am just a little hungry.  Where’s Costanza with my calzone?  It’s 1:15.  He’s late.  That smell.  I have to call you back. Costanza!  He’s in the building.  Costanza is in the building and he’s not in this office. Costanza! I’ll get you .

17. The Rye (Season 7)

JERRY: Shut up, you old bag!

16. The Muffin Tops ( Season 8 )

Kramer: We have a bonus reality stop today. We will be hauling muffin stumps to the local repository.

Man 2: We’re going to a garbage dump?

Kramer: And we’re off.

Jerry: You know I never though he would be able to recreate the experience of actually knowing him, but this is pretty close.

15. The Jimmy (Season 6)

George: (knocks) You hem… wanted to see me Mr. Steinbrenner?”

Stein: “Yes George, come in ,come in.  You know George I’ve been your biggest supporter around here and thats why I was so disappointed to hear that you been pilfering the equipment.”

George: “George would never do anything like that.”

Stein: ‘No why would I. I own it.”

George: “Right!”

Stein: “So what are you saying?”

George: “Why would George steal from the Yankees?”

Stein: ‘He wouldn’t.”

George: ” ‘course not”

Stein: “Exactly………………(mumbles) I don’t what the hell’s going on here.”

George: “Sir?”

Stein: “Nothing.”

George: (energetically) “Well seems it’s about time for George’s lunch.”

Stein: “Yes it is. Well lets see what I have today. Darn it It’s ham & cheese again and she forgot the fancy mustard. I told her I like that fancy mustard. You could put that fancy mustard on a shoe and it would taste pretty good to me. oh! she made it up with a cupcake though. Hey look at this . you know I got a new system for eating these things. `I used to peel off the chocolate now I turn them upside down , I eat the cake first and save the frosting for the end.”

14. The Opposite (Season 5)

George : Excuse me, I couldn’t help but notice that you were looking in my direction.

Victoria : Oh, yes I was, you just ordered the same exact lunch as me.

( G takes a deep breath )

George : My name is George. I’m unemployed and I live with my parents.

Victoria : I’m Victoria. Hi.

13. The Abstinence (Season 8 )

Kramer: My face is all craggly, it’s crinkly.

Jerry: It’s from all that smoke. You’ve experienced a lifetime of smoking in 72 hours. What did you expect?

Kramer: Emphysema, birth defects, cancer. But not this. Jerry, my face is my livelihood. Everything I have I owe to this face.

Jerry: And your teeth, your teeth are all brown.

Kramer: Look away, I’m hideous.

12. The Hot Tub ( Season 7)

Jerry: Kramer, I’m tellin’ you, Elaine doesn’t know whatta hell she’s doin’! I gotta take over this whole operation!

Kramer: Jerry, look how tense you are… You need to take a soak.

Jerry: I’m not taking a soak in that human bacteria frat you got goin’ there.

Kramer: Come on, I’m tellin’ you, it’s great. I opened up all the windows… the air is cold, the tub is boiling hot… It’s like Sweden, man. Sweeeeden!

11. The Contest (Season 4)

JERRY: But are you still master of your domain?

GEORGE: I am king of the county. You?

JERRY: Lord of the manor.

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