Our panel of Seinfeld “experts” voted on which Seinfeld episodes were the best. Here were the results:
Just Missed- The Junior Mint (Season 4) and The Pool Guy (Season 7)
20. The Chinese Restaurant (Season 2)
George: She called. He yelled Cartwright. I missed her.
Jerry: Who’s Cartwright?
George: I’m Cartwright!
Jerry: You’re not Cartwri-
George: Of course I’m not Cartwright!
19. The Wink (Season 7)
STEINBRENNER: Morgan, Morgan, you know his name is conspicuously absent from this card. Almost like he went out of his way not to sign it.
GEORGE: Oh no, Morgan is a good man sir.
STEINBRENNER: You can stop kowtowing to Morgan. Congratulations, you got his job.
GEORGE: Wa, uh, thank you sir, you know I am not quite sure I’m right for it.
STEINBRENNER: Stop it George, he’s out, you’re in.
STEINBRENNER: A lot more work you know.
GEORGE: I know.
STEINBRENNER: A lot more responsibility. Long long hours.
GEORGE: I know.
STEINBRENNER: Not much more money.
18. The Calzone (Season 7)
Mr. Steinbrenner on phone: That’s right. Do you want to say it again . I’ll say it again. I hadn’t had a pimple since I was eighteen and I don’t care that you don’t believe me or not. And how’s this. You’re fired. Okay your not. I am just a little hungry. Where’s Costanza with my calzone? It’s 1:15. He’s late. That smell. I have to call you back. Costanza! He’s in the building. Costanza is in the building and he’s not in this office. Costanza! I’ll get you .
17. The Rye (Season 7)
JERRY: Shut up, you old bag!
16. The Muffin Tops ( Season 8 )
Kramer: We have a bonus reality stop today. We will be hauling muffin stumps to the local repository.
Man 2: We’re going to a garbage dump?
Kramer: And we’re off.
Jerry: You know I never though he would be able to recreate the experience of actually knowing him, but this is pretty close.
15. The Jimmy (Season 6)
George: (knocks) You hem… wanted to see me Mr. Steinbrenner?”
Stein: “Yes George, come in ,come in. You know George I’ve been your biggest supporter around here and thats why I was so disappointed to hear that you been pilfering the equipment.”
George: “George would never do anything like that.”
Stein: ‘No why would I. I own it.”
Stein: “So what are you saying?”
George: “Why would George steal from the Yankees?”
Stein: ‘He wouldn’t.”
George: ” ‘course not”
Stein: “Exactly………………(mumbles) I don’t what the hell’s going on here.”
George: (energetically) “Well seems it’s about time for George’s lunch.”
Stein: “Yes it is. Well lets see what I have today. Darn it It’s ham & cheese again and she forgot the fancy mustard. I told her I like that fancy mustard. You could put that fancy mustard on a shoe and it would taste pretty good to me. oh! she made it up with a cupcake though. Hey look at this . you know I got a new system for eating these things. `I used to peel off the chocolate now I turn them upside down , I eat the cake first and save the frosting for the end.”
14. The Opposite (Season 5)
George : Excuse me, I couldn’t help but notice that you were looking in my direction.
Victoria : Oh, yes I was, you just ordered the same exact lunch as me.
( G takes a deep breath )
George : My name is George. I’m unemployed and I live with my parents.
Victoria : I’m Victoria. Hi.
13. The Abstinence (Season 8 )
Kramer: My face is all craggly, it’s crinkly.
Jerry: It’s from all that smoke. You’ve experienced a lifetime of smoking in 72 hours. What did you expect?
Kramer: Emphysema, birth defects, cancer. But not this. Jerry, my face is my livelihood. Everything I have I owe to this face.
Jerry: And your teeth, your teeth are all brown.
Kramer: Look away, I’m hideous.
12. The Hot Tub ( Season 7)
Jerry: Kramer, I’m tellin’ you, Elaine doesn’t know whatta hell she’s doin’! I gotta take over this whole operation!
Kramer: Jerry, look how tense you are… You need to take a soak.
Jerry: I’m not taking a soak in that human bacteria frat you got goin’ there.
Kramer: Come on, I’m tellin’ you, it’s great. I opened up all the windows… the air is cold, the tub is boiling hot… It’s like Sweden, man. Sweeeeden!
11. The Contest (Season 4)
JERRY: But are you still master of your domain?
GEORGE: I am king of the county. You?
JERRY: Lord of the manor.